She wants her cake AND she's going to eat it

A conversation with Sheridan regarding her FIFTH birthday party:

Me: "Sheridan, do you want Cinderella to come to your birthday party or do you want to have your party at the Hoppin' Hippo?"

Sheridan: "Go to the Hoppin' Hippo"

Grandpa: "What do you do at the Hoppin' Hippo?"

Sheridan: "We jump." (short pause) "Oh, and Cinderella comes to the Hoppin Hippo" (insert smirk here)

me: "Wow. I didn't see that one coming. Well played kid"

Wednesday Wisdom

A few things I learned today:

1. It is NOT a good idea to kill two birds with one stone and have your children vaccinated during the same appointment. It is a terrible, horrible nightmare for everyone involved.

2. I have discovered it is better to close my eyes when Cameron is driving. It's more relaxing and I'm less likely to have a heart attack.

3. The sting is just as bad when you drop $700 on a vehicle that normally doesn't cost you anything monthly, as the one that does.

4. My inexpensive beach vacation just got expensive. (see above since said vehicle is the mode of transportation to beach vacation)

5. Having two young children is emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausting. This one I've been learning for awhile but seriously, today about did me in. I wish I had really known this tidbit of information...ooohh, say....FIVE YEARS AGO. Not that I would have done things any differently because we all know, I'm stubborn and I like to learn the hard way, but it is nice to be warned. So, for any of the 10 people that read my blog, here's my little public service announcement: if you're about to start a family or increase the one you have, nothing I say nor anything that you read can fully prepare you for how crazy life gets or how to juggle it all. So...just brace yourself.

6. Everything still gets better with a glass of wine...or maybe two

Appropriate Car Art

I'm not a big fan of putting a lot of shit bumper stickers on my car. But I saw this one today and I would definitely wallpaper my entire car with it:

I'll keep my guns, freedom, and money...

You can keep the "CHANGE"

I don't personally "pack heat" and I'm pretty sure I'm not the next Donald Trump, but I am a fan of my freedom....just ask my parents. Now excuse me while I search for this little gem for my entire family. Especially my father.

We have an aspiring Houdini on our hands

This is NOT where I left her when I tried to get some things done around the house this afternoon. Apparently, getting out of the mega-saucer is no match for Miss Leighton.

Busted!!

"What? Stunt doubles are for the weak."

I didn't tell her my next stop was the liquor store

HEB cashier: (as she is scanning an 18-pack of Coors Light, a 6-pack of Miller Lite and a bottle of wine) "Oh, are you having a party?"

Me: (trying not to laugh and say 'bless your heart') "No. I'm hoping this lasts us a week. A party with our friends would require A LOT more alcohol than that!"

Do you notice a theme here?

Every day random thoughts pop into my head and I have conversations with myself. Not out loud of course. That would be weird. Normal people talk to themselves ALL THE TIME. So to help you feel more normal, I thought I'd share the little gems of thoughts/conversations that have occurred in my head this morning. You're welcome.

1. I have big plans for tonight. I hope no one calls me after 7:30pm because I have BIG, EXCITING plans for my Friday night. I'm going to bed when the girls do tonight.

2. Why doesn't Leighton want to eat breakfast lately? Doesn't she know it's THE MOST IMPORTANT meal of the day? No, of course she doesn't. She's only EIGHT MONTHS OLD.

3. If I cloned myself (you know, pending that was possible and all, of course) would my clone be just as tired as I am or would she have endless amounts of energy to watch my children so I could sleep?

4. How am I going to yell constructively correct Sheridan if I don't have my voice today?

5. Why is Leighton such an early bird? She clearly doesn't get that from me.

6. Ahhhh, the bunny is in the backyard eating. He (or she possibly) makes me happy.

7. I'm so glad the damn plants could go back outside. I'm sure by the time I vacuum up all of the leaves, they'll have to come back inside.

8. I think it's quite possible that I got MORE sleep when Leighton was a newborn. People were here during the day, helping me, forcing me to get some sleep. Where did "those people" go? Can I get them back without having another baby?

9. What are we going to have for dinner tonight? There isn't any food in the house. I need to go to HEB. But let's be real, I'm still in my pjs so that's not going to happen today. Maybe we'll just order pizza. Hmmm...Sheridan is going to think pizza is one of the five essential food groups that you should consume on a daily basis. I'll make sure I order something with veggies on it. Problem solved.

10. I wonder how long it's going to take Cameron to put the new ink cartridges in the printer? Hopefully not as long as it's taking him to put the new engine in the Bronco.

11. Shit. I haven't had my coffee yet this morning. I'm sure that's why I'm so tired this morning and not due to the fact that I only got 3 hours of sleep last night.

12. Is it 7:30pm yet???????

Afterwards, we dipped them in chocolate

After an always challenging task trying to photograph them, it was our reward...

Happy Valentine's Day!

What do I know?

A conversation with Sheridan while she was playing with her kitchen and play food:

Sheridan: (holding a basket of vegetables) I was in the garden.

Me: What kind of vegetables did you pick in your garden?

Sheridan: (picking up each one to show me) Corn, a potato, a pickle

Me: I can see how that looks like a pickle but it's actually eggplant

Sheridan: Really?

Me: Yes. What else do you have?

Sheridan: A egg and a orange

Me: I think that's actually a pumpkin

Sheridan: Hmm...I think it's a orange

Me: (thinking) Well, since I CLEARLY don't know anything, I won't even try to explain that eggs don't come from a garden.

Things I learned over Christmas break

1. Maybe I need to re-evaluate when I drink my daily glass of wine. It might be more beneficial to begin my day with it rather than coffee.

2. Unlike my teacher friends, I will NOT be counting down the days until summer vacation.

3. I love my children. Sometimes I love them even more when they are sleeping.

4. You can learn a lot during a game of Mexican train. Taylor, (even though you don't read my blog, just in case) I will never be the same after your story.

5. I've always said that I don't like pistachios. But I actually tried them and it turns out. I like them! Who knew? Although this new revolution does not mean that I will actually try brussel sprouts. I am quite certain I will not like those little things. EVER.

6. I am STILL finding sugar crystals from my evening of making sugar cookies with Sheridan.

7. Sheridan's daily "quiet time," is rarely quiet.

8. My Kitchen Aid mixer gets a lot of attention during the holidays. I used it three times in one week to make pound cake, sugar cookies, and oreo truffles.

9. There is a limit to how many times a person can watch Finding Nemo within a two week period. It's sixteen.

10. I should have asked Santa for ear plugs (to tune out all the new, noisy toys) and a personal trainer (remember #8?).

11. Leighton is not a fan of green vegetables. Can't say that I blame her on the baby food green beans. They are less than desirable.

12. I'm a little more emotional during the holidays. Hard to believe, I KNOW! But it is possible. EVERYTHING makes me cry or at the very least, get teary eyed. Because the bottom line is, despite all the craziness. And commotion. And temporary two week loss of sanity while school is out. I would be even crazier without my family and my precious girls that complete it.